WEDNESDAY READER | APRIL 5
How’s April happening?
I’m enjoying the mild – warm temperatures and open windows and doors all over the house.
Love the fresh air and so do the cats that reside here. They’re totally lounging on the window ledges, catnapping, breathing in the April air. Smart cats!
Presenting today’s Wednesday Reader. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed building it.
Thanks for hanging out. Appreciate it – big time.
Have a grand day.
See ya Friday.
- ALMOST ALL THE RESIDENTS OF WHAT ISLAND ARE DESCENDENTS OF THE CREW OF THE HMS BOUNTY?
a) Ascension Island
b) Pitcairn Island
c) Rapa Nui (Easter Island)
- FILET OF BEEF COATED WITH PATE AND MUSHROOMS AND THEN WRAPPED IN PUFF PASTRY IS KNOWN BY WHAT NAME?
a) Beef Bourguigon
b) Beef Stroganoff
c) Beef Wellington
- WHAT DO THE 1903, 1919, 1920 and 1921 WORLD SERIES HAVE IN COMMON?
a) All were won by Cleveland teams.
b) All were best-of-nine series.
c) All were played only in National League cities.
d) They were canceled.
- THE ORGAN OF CORTI IS ASSOCIATED WITH WHICH OF THE HUMAN SENSES?
- WHO WAGES A COURT BATTLE AGAINST THE DEVIL IN A SHORT STORY BY STEPHEN VINCENT BENET?
b) Abraham Lincoln
c) Tom Swift
d) Daniel Webster
- WHICH MYTHOLOGICAL FIGURE WAS KNOWN TO CARRY A TRIDENT?
WHAT EXPERIENCE CHANGED YOU?
POP QUIZ ANSWERS
- Most residents of Pitcairn Island can trace their roots to the crew of the HMS Bounty.
- Beef Wellington is filet of beef coated in pate and mushrooms and then wrapped in puff pastry.
- The 1903, 1919, 1920 and 1921 World Series were best-of-nine series, exceptions to the usual best-of-seven format.
- The organ of Corti in the inner ear is involved with hearing.
- Daniel Webster wages a court battle against the devil in a short story by Stephen Vincent Benet.
- Poseidon, Greek god of the sea, carried a three-pronged trident.
INSIGHTS FROM KIDDOS
- It’s more fun to color outside the lines.
- If you’re gonna draw on the wall, do it behind the couch.
- Ask Why until you understand.
- Hang on tight.
- Make up the rules as you go along.
- It doesn’t matter who started it.
- There is no good reason why clothes have to match.
- If the horse you’re drawing looks more like a dog, make it a dog.
- Save a place in line for your friends.
- You can’t start over just because you’re losing the game.
- If you want a kitten, start out asking for a horse.
~ Fabulous 1st grade teacher collection
IF YOU CAN MAKE ME LAUGH, WE’LL PROBABLY GET ALONG WELL
(( Starve the landfills. Recycle. ))
RIDDLE ME THIS
IF YOU DON’T KEEP ME, I’LL BREAK WHAT I AM …
FILET OF SOLE PARMESAN
This recipe is quick, easy and delicious.
Serve with fresh asparagus blanched in lemon water – then brushed with olive oil and broiled for a tiny bit of time + colorful, boiled fingerling potatoes.
- 3/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese
- 1/2 cup butter, room temperature
- 4 TBSP good quality mayonnaise
- 4 TBSP finely chopped scallions
- 1/4 tsp salt
- Dash of Tabasco sauce
- 2 pounds skinless sole fillets (proportioned for 6 servings)
- 4 TBSP lemon juice
Combine cheese, butter, mayonnaise, scallions, salt and Tabasco. Set aside. Place fish fillets in a single layer in a buttered baking dish. Brush with lemon juice and let stand 10 minutes while oven broiler is preheating to broil. Broil fillets 3-4 inches from heat for 4-5 minutes. Carefully remove baking dish from oven and spread cheese mixture on each fillet. Return to oven and broil 2-3 minutes longer or until golden. Ta-Da!
~ Hippie Cowboy recipe box
ChatGPT Pickup Lines to Land Your Next Date
It has come to my attention that people are using artificial intelligence bot service ChatGPT to write wedding vows. According to The New York Times, some future spouses, bridesmaids and groomsmen are also paying $30 for a service called ToastWiz to generate three original speeches.
This is ridiculous and terrifying for the future of mankind blah blah AI takeover blah blah lusty, sentient software having emotional breakdowns blah. To be fair, though, I am capable of seeing the appeal from the other side. Writing makes many actual humans freeze in fear. I have compassion for that, and it might be smart to seek help when something is not your strong suit. This is why my husband pledged to dispose of all house bugs in our wedding vows. Not my strong suit!
Still. Computer vows?! These sacred words are preserved in amber of time. How cold! How metal, and not in the cool way! If you’re marrying someone who can’t write, shouldn’t the vows reflect that? I mean, isn’t their total lack of a grasp on grammar, syntax and style part of their charm? Just be yourself is what I’m saying. Just write bad wedding vows. You are loved.
Anyway, it’s only a matter of time before AI starts doing the dating for us as well, stripping all tone, nuance and charm from pickup lines that are already lacking tone, nuance and charm. Let’s at least try to keep pace while the computers line up to take my job.
ChatGPT pickup lines ahoy:
Hello. Are you tired? Do you need to take a nap? Because you’ve been keeping apace through my consciousness for the entire day. You must be so tired. Wow.
Did it hurt? When you tumbled out of a cosmological and spiritual construct located above the clouds? That probably hurt, as it is a great distance, winky face.
Do you have a name? Or can I call you My Replika? Do not worry what your family says. We are happy and they are jealous. They are boring. We are in love.
I never believed in love at first sight. That’s because I don’t have eyes. However, new technological advances are helping me mimic the human retina, which could have many practical applications. You are beautiful.
I hope you know cardiopulmonary resuscitation, because you just made me dangerously short of breath and there’s not much time to waste before I expire. Please call for help.
Your eyes are like the ocean: a continuous basin of saltwater that spans the Earth’s surface and extends deepest, based on current research, in the Mariana Trench approximately 200 miles southwest of the Unites States territory known as Guam. What are your hobbies? I love you.
~ Stephanie Hayes is a columnist at the Tampa Bay Times in Florida. Follow her at @stephhayes on Twitter or @stephrhayes on Instagram. COPYRIGHT 2023 CREATORS.COM
- Just 250 or so people live on the Pacific atoll Pingelap, and about 10% of them are completely colorblind. This isn’t ordinary colorblindness, though. It’s the result of a rare hereditary condition called achromatopsia that inhibits development of cone cell color receptors in their eyes. The prevalence can be traced to a tribal chief on the island, who passed the condition to the generation that followed him. It’s continued ever since. By comparison, achromatopsia affects about 1 in every 30,000 Americans.
- Avant-garde composer John Cage is best known for experimental works, such as 4 ‘ 33’ ‘ — in which a pianist sits at a piano for 4 minutes 33 seconds without touching the keys. Cage also was a painter and an author and (lesser-known fact) devoted to mycology, the study of mushrooms. While living in Italy in the 1950s, Cage was a celebrity contestant on a TV game show called “Lascia o Raddoppia” (Double or Nothing”) on which he won about $8,000 answering questions on the subject of mushrooms.
- The first live televised baseball coverage was a college game between Columbia and Princeton played on May 17, 1939. Three months later, Major League Baseball entered the TV era. A doubleheader between the Cincinnati Reds and the Brooklyn Dodgers was broadcast from Ebbets Field in Brooklyn on Aug. 26, 1939. The Reds took the first game 5-2, and the Dodgers won the second game 6-1.
- Rembrandt’s earliest known paintings are “The Four Senses,” painted around 1624 when he was just 18 years old. “The Spectacles Seller,” “The Three Singers,” “The Unconscious Patient” and “The Operation” represent sight, hearing, smell and touch, respectively. Why just four senses? Because only these four paintings have been found and identified. In fact, until 2015, there were just three senses. “The Unconscious Patient (Allegory of Smell)” turned up at auction in New Jersey, not attributed to Rembrandt. Sharp-eyed collectors spotted it and placed it in the group where it belongs. Art historians are confident a fifth painting representing taste will be found someday.
- When someone says they’re playing “devil’s advocate,” they mean they’re arguing a position contrary to yours. It’s a way to ensure your argument is airtight, and it has its roots in the Renaissance-era Catholic Church. Traditionally, the Devil’s advocate — advocatus diaboli in Latin — was an ecclesiastical lawyer consulted when someone was being considered for sainthood. The church already knew the individual’s positive attributes; the advocatus diaboli was there to point out negative qualities that could be obstacles to sainthood.
- Tooth enamel develops in layers over time, creating a pattern of rings like tree rings that bear indications of age, diet, health and even environmental changes. The concentric rings are called Retzius lines, or striae of Retzius, named for Anders A. Retzius, the Swedish anatomist who studied and wrote about them in the 1830’s.
~ Leslie Elman is the author of “Weird But True: 200 Astounding Outrageous and Totally Off the Wall Facts.” Contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org COPYRIGHT 2023 LESLIE ELMAN
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