Wednesday Reader, June 8, 2022
Greetings, All. Hope your June is off to a fantastic start. Mine is going swell: temperatures are mild and kind, zinnia seeds I planted in pots are super thriving, same goes for the cool horsetail reed. I present to you Wednesday’s Reader. Enjoy!
1. DOLPHINFISH IS NOW KNOWN BY WHAT NAME SO CONSUMERS DON’T ASSUME IT’S RELATED TO ACTUAL DOLPHINS?
a) Mahi-mahi b) Monkfish c) Orange Roughy
2. “GRANDPA (TELL ME ‘BOUT THE GOOD OL’ DAYS)” WAS A 1986 NO. 1 HIT FOR WHICH DUO?
a) Flatt & Scruggs b) The Judds c) The Kendalls
d) Sweethearts of the Rodeo
3. WHICH OF THESE HORROR FILM ICONS WOULD BE DESCRIBED AS A LYCANTHROPE?
a) Creature from the Black Lagoon b) Dracula
c) The Mummy d) The Wolfman
ON WHICH TOPIC DO YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF AN EXPERT?
POP QUIZ ANSWERS
1. a) Mahi- mahi – Common dolpphinfish is sold as Mahi-mahi so consumers don’t assume it’s related to actual dolphins.
2. b) The Judds
3. d) The Wolfman – the word Lycanthrope derives from the Greek word for “wolf man.”
LIVING THE DREAM BEING A GUY
- phone conversations last 30 seconds
- a 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase
- bathroom lines are 80% shorter
- old friends don’t give you crap if you gained or lost weight
- you can go to the bathroom alone
- you can leave a hotel room with the bed unmade
- you get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness
- you can be showered and ready in 10 minutes
- you can open all your own jars
- if someone forgets to invite you to something they can still be your friend
- you can whip your shirt off on a hot day
- you don’t give a flip if someone doesn’t notice your new haircut
- car mechanics tell you the truth
- don’t have to shave below your neck
- underwear costs $7 for a 3 pack
- don’t wear makeup
- never have to care about runs in your nylons or smeared mascara
SOMETIMES I PRETEND TO BE NORMAL, BUT IT GETS BORING SO I GO BACK TO BEING MYSELF.
(( Starve the landfills. Recycle. ))
RIDDLE ME THIS
If there are three of these …
you have three.
If there are two …
you have two.
If there is one, well …
you have none.
What are “these?”
MISSOULA MAMA COOKIES
This delish cookie recipe is my adorable grandmother’s TDF oatmeal cookies with my addition of chocolate chips, sunflower seeds and coconut.
In a small bowl:
3 eggs, beaten
1 cup raisins
1 1/2 tsp quality vanilla extract
Combine these ingredients and let set for 1 hour (something incredible happens with the raisins in this important step).
Preheat oven to 375*
In a large mixing bowl cream together:
2 sticks butter, room temperature
3/4 cup brown sugar
3/4 cup white sugar
1 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
1 tsp cinnamon
Add to large mixing bowl:
2 1/4 cups flour
1 cup old-fashioned oatmeal
2 cups chocolate chips
1 cup shredded coconut
1/2 cup sunflower seeds
1/2 cup chopped pecans or walnuts, optional
Combine all ingredients together to cookie dough consistency. Drop by Tablespoons on to an un-greased cookie sheet.
Bake in preheated oven 10-12 minutes, depending on the size of your cookies. Be careful not to over bake or your cookies won’t be soft.
Cool and transfer to cookie jar, recycled coffee can or Zipper bags. Cookies freeze well.
hippie cowboy recipe box
THE ORANGE DIET
There is a story in my family that has been told and re-told so many times that I’m no longer certain of the truth behind the tale. It sits on that amorphous place of being 100 percent accurate or 92 percent false. And knowing all the players in the story, I couldn’t even begin to guess the answer.
The story is about me, though I have no recollection of the event. I was 4 years old and advanced for my age. My parents were considering putting me in kindergarten a full year early. We went to school, at which I was tested on my knowledge — the alphabet, simple math, shapes, etc.
I passed everything with flying colors — colors that I could identify, by the way. It seemed a given that I would be starting kindergarten early.
That is, until we got to the animal noises portion of the exam.
Animal calls were a big thing in my house. My dad and his brothers have been kicked out of more than one restaurant for disturbing the guests with their onslaught of elephant trumpeting and bird tweeting. It’s a source of pride for the Langrocks. Ask any of my cousins. We all have a call that we’ve perfected over the years — a neigh, a moo, a growl. My specialty is the chicken. And when the Langrocks get together, watch out. No, seriously, watch out. You may want to leave the premises. The cacophony of the Amazon has nothing on us.
Needless to say, I knew I had this whole animal noise thing down when the teacher asked me to provide matching sounds to the picture cards. First the teacher held up a photo of a cow, and I rightfully said, “Neigh.” She shook her head. The the teacher held up a horse, and I rightfully said, “Oink, oink.”
She bit her lip.
Finally, she held up a bird, and I jumped around the room, scratching at my armpits and squealing like a monkey. I failed the last test and would stay in preschool for another year.
My mom was confused. When she spoke to my dad about it, he laughed in that nervous way we do when we know we have royally screwed up. “I just thought it was funny to point out a sheep to Katiedid and say, ‘Ribbit, ribbit.'”
Honestly, I always found the story pretty hilarious — hilarious in that cool-you-jacked-me-up-but-I-sure-ain’t-doing-that-to-my-kids-way.
My daughter is 2 ½. She is sweet and funny and brave and beautiful and silly and opinionated, and oh, sweet heavens, she can scream. The word I use with her most often is “feisty.” It’s a nice way of saying that the terrible twos have taken me — and my entire household — prisoner. The fact that we all have intact eardrums is a modern-day miracle.
The sapling, as I like to call her, insists on doing everything her way, from picking out the most outlandish outfits you’ve ever seen to brushing her hair with a toothbrush. We roll with it.
Lately, her favorite color has become orange — including her food. This was familiar territory for me. When my brother was young and obsessed with the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, he went through a phase of wanting everything to be green. When it came to food, he was on a healthy diet of broccoli, salad, spinach tortellini and mint chocolate chip ice cream. A green diet is pretty much a parent’s dream scenario.
Orange, however is one of the worst diet colors ever – along with fuchsia and aquamarine. No one can be healthy with only orange food!
That’s when I held up a cucumber and said, “Sapling, want some orange?”
“Orange?” she asked confused.
“Orange,” I nodded.
She ate it.
I think I owe my dad an apology.
~ Katiedid Langrock copyright 2018 Creators
- We may never know when or where the first beer was brewed, but it happened a long time ago. A regulation specifying a fair price for beer is in the laws of Babylonian King Hammurabi written in the 18th century B.C. Beer also figures in the “Epic of Gilgamesh,” which predates Hammurabi by about a thousand years. That tale mentions Sideuri, a mythical goddess of beer.
- The flat-bottomed, cone-shaped Erlenmeyer laboratory flask is named for
German chemist Emil Erlenmeyer, who devised it in the late 1850’s. Well-balance4d and untippable, the Erlenmeyer flask is designed for liquids to be swirled without splashing. For a time, Erlenmeyer worked with Robert Bunsen, another German chemist, whose contributions to science include the discoveries of cesium and rudibium and the invention of the Bunsen burner.
- It should be no surprise that the modern snowblower originated in Canada. in 1870, civil engineer Robert Carr Harris of New Brunswick patented the “railway screw snow excavator” for removing snow from railroad tracks. Ontario inventor Orange Jull patented another train-powered snow removal device in 1884, but the modern road-clearing snow machine we know and love today was patented in the 1920’s by Quebec businessman Arthur Sicard, whose namesake company still manufactures snow-removal equipment.
- Great artists take inspiration from all sorts of sources; like Michael Jackson taking inspiration from Robert Burns. The King of Pop reportedly was a great fan of Scotland’s national poet, collecting rare editions of his published work. In the 1990’s, he set “A Red Red Rose,” “Tam O’Shanter” and other 18th century Burns poems to contemporary music. (Presumably, he skipped “Address to a Haggis.”) Possibly intended for an album, the foundation of a stage musical, or both, the songs were recorded at Jackson’s studio in California.
- NFL wide receivers Julio Jones and Marvin Jones are among the athletes who have suffered a Jones fracture, a repetitive stress injury that occurs at the base of the small toe, causes a lot of pain and takes a long time to heal. Julio and Marvin can’t take credit for the name, though. That belongs to Welsh orthopedic surgeon Sir Robert Jones, who categorized such stress fractures after suffering one himself, during an enthusiastic evening of ballroom dancing.
Leslie Elman, Trivia Bits