Wednesday Reader May 24 | Ship Castle Godwin

WEDNESDAY READER | MAY 24

Greetings happy readers!

And hello – midweek!

Presenting today’s Wednesday Reader –

Once again, Leslie Elman gives us material to be the most interesting person in the room with the Pop Quiz and Fascinating Stuff.

FAB FOUR – side hustles- of Ranch Dressings is thumbs up!  Finger licking good!

I don’t know what my outside voice answer is for the Quick Question“What’s your … and then it got worse …”  You?

I can totally relate to Tracy Beckerman’s column about ATM issues.  Not so much hers … but can relate.  A great piece.

Wise Guy – cracks me up!  I like his style!

As always — we are so grateful for you sliding by and giving us part of your day.

Thank you!  Wishing you a Wednesday full of joy.

We’ll see ya Friday.

Wednesday Reader May 24

POP QUIZ

  1.   DAYTON, OHIO, IS NAMED FOR JONATHAN DAYTON, WHO HOLDS WHAT DISTINCTION?
    a)  Aviation pioneer
    b)  Youngest Civil War general
    c)  First governor of Ohio
    d)  Youngest signer of the U.S. Constitution
  2.   WHO CARVED THE PRESIDENTIAL PORTRAITS ON MOUNT RUSHMORE?
    a)  Gutzon and Lincoln Borglum
    b)  Daniel Chester French
    c)  Henry Augustus Lukeman
    d)  John and Washington Roebling
  3.   IN A 1976 SONG, WHAT WAS JOHNNY CASH PUTTING TOGETHER “ONE PIECE AT A TIME”?
    a)  His broken heart
    b)  A Cadillac
    c)  A perfect woman
    d)  A railroad track
  4.   WHICH FICTIONAL DETECTIVE IS INVOLVED IN THE CASE OF THE MALTESE FALCON?
    a)  Sherlock Holmes
    b)  Philip Marlowe
    c)  Hercule Poirot
    d)  Sam Spade

~  LESLIE ELMAN
triviabitsleslie@gmail.com

Wednesday Reader May 24

QUICK QUESTION

WHAT’S YOUR “AND THEN IT GOT WORSE” STORY ?

Wednesday Reader May 24

POP QUIZ ANSWERS

  1.   Dayton, Ohio, is named for Jonathan Dayton of New Jersey, youngest signer of the U.S. Constitution
  2.   Father and son Gutzon and Lincoln Borglum carved the images of the presidents in Mount Rushmore.
  3.   Johnny Cash was putting together a Cadillac in his 1976 song “One Piece at a Time.”
  4.   Dashiell Hammett’s detective Sam Spade is involved in the case of the Maltese Falcon.

WISE GUY

Brilliant Answers!  This student aced the test but flunked the exam.

Q:  In which battle did Napoleon die?

A:  His last battle

Q:  Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

A:  At the bottom of the page

Q:  River Ravi flows in which state?

A:  Liquid

Q:  What is the main reason for divorce?

A:  Marriage

Q:  What is the main reason for failure?

A:  Exams

Q:  What can you never eat for breakfast?

A:  Lunch and dinner

Q:  What looks like half of an apple?

A:  The other half

Q:  If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become?

A:  It will become wet

Q:  How can a man go eight days without sleeping?

A:  No problem, he sleeps at night

Q:  If you had 3 apples & 4 oranges in one hand, 4 apples in the other hand, what do you have?

A:  Very large hands

Q:  If it took 8 men 10 hours to build a wall, how long would it take 4 men to build it?

A:  No time at all.  The wall’s already built

~ from a cool email thread from 10 years ago

THE DOOR TO SUCCESS IS LABELED “PUSH”

(( Starve the landfills.  Recycle. ))

RIDDLE ME THIS

WHAT GETS BETTER THE MORE IT DRIES?

Wednesday Reader May 24

The FAB FOUR

These four dressings using Hidden Valley Ranch Dressing as the base are outstanding.  And so easy. Yes, it’s really important that they are made with the dry Hidden Valley Ranch package + mayo + buttermilk. The bottled stuff just isn’t the same.

Here we go:

CHIPOTLE RANCH DRESSING

A delicious dressing that has just enough kick to make it adventurous!  Tasty on green salads, exceptional dip for veggies, Fried Green Tomatoes, Chicken wings and Onion Rings.

  • One package of dry Ranch Dressing mix (prepared per package instructions)
  • 4 TBSP Chipotle Puree*

Whisk Chipotle puree with prepared Ranch Dressing.  Store in fridge in airtight container.

* Chipotle puree – in a tiny blender combine one small can of chipotles with 1/4 cup water.  Whir it until it’s totally a saucy kind of thing.  Save leftover Chipotle puree in a small jar for other recipes/add ins. Winter time – Hello!  Homemade Chili or beans or soup!

PESTO RANCH DRESSING

This savory dressing is delicious on green salads, as a dip for vegetables and Fried Green Tomatoes.  It’s also great on cold or hot sandwiches for an Italian twist.

  • One package dry Ranch Dressing mix (prepared per package instructions)
  • 1/3 cup prepared/purchased Basil Pesto

Whisk Ranch and Basil Pesto together and store in an airtight container in the fridge.

RANCHACADO DRESSING

We made this dressing by the gallons each week at Hippie Cowboy.  Customers loved it on green salads – but especially with Fried Green Tomatoes.  Also super-good on a sandwich.

  • One package dry Ranch Dressing mix (prepared per package instructions)
  • 1 cup avocado pulp or packaged fresh guacamole – or homemade

Whisk Ranch and avocado goodness together in a bowl.  Store in an airtight container in the fridge.

SIMPLE BLEU CHEESE DRESSING

I might be one of the few people on the planet who has not acquired a love for Bleu Cheese Dressing – Bleu cheese period.  Believe it or not, customers (who were Bleu cheese fans) loved this dressing at Hippie Cowboy.  Little did they know the secret to this one – was the Ranch dressing base.  I’ll admit that it’s quite tasty.  Salads, vegetables, wings.

  • One package dry Ranch Dressing mix (prepared per package instructions)
  • 1/4 cup EXTRA buttermilk
  • 2/3 cup Bleu Cheese crumbles

Whisk Ranch Dressing, extra buttermilk and Bleu Cheese crumbles in a bowl until all the cheese chunks are super tiny.  Store in an airtight container. ** Pro tip ** Ranch and Bleu cheese must hang out for at least an hour to become “ONE”

Fried green tomato recipe coming soon!  It’s the best recipe ever!

~ Hippie Cowboy recipe box

RIDDLE ANSWER

A TOWEL

Wednesday Reader May 24

BREAKING THE BANK

LOST IN SUBURBIA
BY TRACY BECKERMAN

I’d always had a good relationship with my bank machine.  I gave it checks; it gave me money; it seemed like everyone got something out of the arrangement.  But one day I stopped off to make my weekly deposit, slid my checks in as usual and waited.  Instead of the usual clicking noise, I heard something that sounded suspiciously like paper being … chewed.

“Hey, what are you doing in there?”  I squinted at the machine.

The ATM stopped chewing, and then belched out my checks.  They were crumpled and slightly torn.

“Unable to deposit checks at this time,” said the message on the screen.  My ATM card came shooting out of the machine.

I wasn’t sure if I had done something to offend it or if the machine was just having a bad day.  I held my hand up to my mouth and checked my breath.  Then I reinserted my card.  After punching in my code, I tried to load my mangled checks.  This time it accepted one, but not the other.  I heard the chewing sound again and then my check and my card both came flying out.

“Oh, look!”  I said angrily.  “There’s no need to be nasty about this.  If you don’t want to accept the check, fine.  But you don’t have to spit it at me.”

The ATM made a grinding noise.  I was pretty sure it was giving me a raspberry.

I gave up trying to deposit the last check and reinserted my card to get some cash.  There was a lot of whirring and cha-chunking, and then my card came back out.

“Unable to give cash at this time,” said the message on the screen.

“WHAT?!”  I demanded.  In frustration, I punched all the buttons at once and then banged on the screen.

The ATM went blank.  A moment later a new message came up.

“Out of Service.”

Suddenly I was nervous.  I thought maybe I had done something to really mess up the ATM.  It was one thing to antagonize the thing.  It was another to commit ATM-icide.

I drew in my breath and walked into the actual bank.

“Excuse me,” I announced.  “I think I killed the ATM machine.”

The tellers all looked up at me.

“It might not actually be dead.  But it’s definitely in a coma,” I said uneasily.  It was completely possible that at that moment, a teller was stepping on one of those emergency silent police alert buttons and any second a SWAT team was going to bust in and arrest me, which would really stink because then I’d have a police record and I’d also be late for my afternoon appointment with a chocolate doughnut.

I stood there awkwardly, waiting for someone to either deposit my check or take me into custody.

Finally, the bank manager approached.  He smiled patiently at me.

“How can I help you?”  he asked.

“I was trying to deposit some checks and the ATM went belly up,” I said.

He nodded, took my mangled check, brought it to the teller and then returned to me with my receipt.

“You’re all set, Mrs. Beckerman,” he assured me.

I looked around at all the tellers still staring at me.

“I bet you’re hoping I’ll just leave now, right?” I said.

“Actually,” he grinned, “I’m banking on it.”

~ Tracy Beckerman is the author of the Amazon Bestseller, “Barking at the Moon:  A Story of Life, Love, and Kibble.  You can visit her at www.tracybeckerman.com
COPYRIGHT 2023 CREATORS

Fascinating Stuff

FASCINATING STUFF

  • The Beatles’ 1968 song “Blackbird” features the sound of a real blackbird.  Paul McCartney recorded the song solo, playing an acoustic guitar.  He wanted the recording to sound as if he were playing outdoors.  So, during production, sound engineer Geoff Emerick added the birdsong from an Abbey Road Studios sound effects collection.  The bird had been recorded by another sound engineer in his backyard a few years earlier.
  • Trench coats were developed during World War I to be worn by officers in battle trenches.  Their characteristic features had practical purposes:  Epaulets displayed the officer’s rank; a back placket allowed water to run off the garment; front flaps provided cushioning against the butt of a rifle; gear was clipped to D rings on the belt.  Resistant to “wind, wet and mud,” some trench coats also had a detachable fleece lining that could be used as an emergency blanket.
  • Leatherback turtles are the world’s largest sea turtles.  They may grow to be 8 feet long and weigh 2,000 pounds.  They can dive deeper than 3,900 feet and remain submerged for 85 minutes, and their migration from nesting sites to feeding sites may take them from Indonesia to Portland, Oregon, thousands of miles across the Pacific Ocean.  All of this on a diet that consists mainly of jellyfish!
  • Concertos for violin, piano, cello, horns — most composers have those in their repertoires.  But in 1954, English composer Ralph (pronounced Rafe) Vaughan Williams broke new ground by writing a concerto for the orchestra’s most stalwart member:  the tuba.  Its debut took place during the London Symphony Orchestra’s 50th anniversary jubilee, with Phillip Catelinet as the featured tuba soloist.  This wasn’t the only time Vaughan Williams composed for an overlooked musical instrument.  Two years earlier, he’d written “Romance in D-flat” for harmonica virtuoso Larry Adler.

~  COPYRIGHT 2023 LESLIE ELMAN
DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM

Day Maker Readable Art

3 replies
  1. Carol says:

    I always feel smarter after reading Pop Quiz and Fascinating Stuff and my heart feels lighter after laughing through Wise Guy and Lost in Suburbia. And, oh those salad dressing recipes! Just in time for my summer staples! Enjoyed!!!

    • Cheryl clarson says:

      I’m so delighted that you enjoyed, Carol!!! I always feel smarter after typing/reading Pop Quiz and Fascinating Stuff and Wise Guy and Lost in Suburbia were both a hoot! Guarantee the Fab 4 Salad dressings will not disappoint all summer long. Thank you for reading + commenting. Totally meaningful to us. Wishing you a fantastic day!

    • Dixie Lee Bostick says:

      I as well, Carol. However, When I watch “Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader,” I plead the 5th. LOL

Comments are closed.