WEDNESDAY READER | NOVEMBER 9
Welcome falling leaves, sweaters, delicious smells happening in the kitchen on the stove and in the oven. Shorter (feeling) days with the daylight pretty much gone around here by 6 pm.
Here’s this Wednesday’s Read. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed assembling it.
Have a great day and rest of your week and as always, grateful that you’re here.
- SOME NEW WORLD VULTURES LACK A SYRINX, WHICH MEANS THEY CAN’T DO WHAT?
a) Build nests
b) Digest meat
- WHAT IS DONALD DUCK’S MIDDLE NAME?
d) He doesn’t have one
- KRISS KROSS, VAN HALEN AND THE POINTER SISTERS ALL HAD HIT SONGS WITH WHAT TITLE?
- INNSBRUCK, AUSTRIA, HOSTED THE 1976 OLYMPICS AFTER WHICH CITY WON THE BID BUT DECLINED TO HOST IT?
WHAT DO YOU LOOK FORWARD TO ABOUT GROWING OLDER?
POP QUIZ ANSWERS
- d) Sing. Vultures without a syrinx, or vocal organ, can’t sing; they can only hiss and grunt.
- c) Fauntleroy
- c) JUMP
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT PETS FROM CHILDREN
- No matter how hard you try, you cannot baptize cats.
- You can’t trust dogs to watch your food.
- Never hold a hair dryer and a cat at the same time.
- Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic-tac.
- If you wanna get a puppy, you gotta take him for walks.
- My cat loves me even when I’m in time out.
- Goldfish are the best. They don’t need walks, litter boxes or lots of attention when you’re trying to play a game.
LIVE SO THAT WHEN YOUR CHILDREN THINK OF FAIRNESS, CARING AND INTEGRITY, THEY THINK OF YOU.
(( Starve the landfills. Recycle. ))
RIDDLE ME THIS
WHAT TASTES BETTER THAN IT SMELLS?
HELLO AUTUMN! HOMEMADE APPLESAUCE
Fantastic Recipe. Delicious results. Warm, cold, over ice cream, mixed in with breakfast oatmeal. The ways to enjoy are only limited to imagination. Pro Tip – the more varieties of apples you use, the more depth of flavor it will have, so be creative. This recipe makes a lot, but it lasts for weeks in the fridge.
- Zest and juice from 3 large oranges
- Zest and juice from 2 large lemons
- 3 pounds Granny Smith apples (about 6-8)
- 3 pounds sweet red apples, such as Macoun, McIntosh, or Winesap (about 6-8)
- 3/4 cup packed brown sugar
- 1 stick butter, sliced
- 1 TBSP Cinnamon
- 1/2 tsp Allspice
- 1/2 cup maple syrup
Preheat oven to 350*
- Place the zest and juice from fruit in large bowl
- Peel, quarter and core the apples and toss in the juice (include peels of 2 red apples for finished applesauce color)
- Pour the apples into a Dutch oven or enameled metal (oven safe) pot
- Sprinkle brown sugar, butter, cinnamon, allspice and drizzle with maple syrup
- Cover pot
- Bake for 1-1/2 hours
- Discard apple peels and whisk until your preference of consistency (I like chunks in mine)
~ from Hippie Cowboy Recipe Box
My son holds up six nearly identical Crayola crayons in his hands and present them to me one by one.
“What’s this one called?” he asks.
“What about this one?”
“No, Mama, what are their real names?”
Oh, how foolish of me. Have so many decades passed that I have forgotten the utter importance of knowing the given name of each crayon in the 120-count box, how I used to line them up according to the coolness of their names, how desperately I wanted to one day become the person who bestows such greatness onto the highest level of art a kid can ascend to — crayon art?
I read the names to my son: pine green, forest green, middle green, medium chrome green, maximum green and asparagus.
“Oh,” my son said.
“Yeah,” I replied, matching his disappointment.
Asparagus, huh? Really captured the essence of a kid with that one, didn’t ya?
I take names very seriously. Every time I meet someone who says she decided to name her kid Piper or Mary just because it sounds pretty, I start to hyperventilate. A steady stream of questions leave my mouth in a single breath: “Yes, but there are a lot of pretty names in the world. Is it a family name? Do the initials stand for something? What emotions does the name conjure? What connection do you have to the name? What mental image of your daughter does the name elicit? Why that pretty name?”
I don’t mind the reason, as long as there is one, bust most often I’m met with a shrug and the question, “you don’t think (fill in the name here) is pretty?”
That’s not the point. But for the record, I do not think the name “medium chrome green” is pretty.
My first job out of college was with a toy and licensing company, for which I came up with dirty bumper stickers that you can still find proudly plastered on the backs of rusted-out trucks down dark, seedy alleys in a town near you!
It was the perfect post-degree gig for a creative writing major who had no intention of becoming an adult too soon. Every week, there was something new they wanted me to write: shirt slogans for a bachelorette party, “over the hill” gags, princess keychains.
No assignment got me more pumped, however, than when fake street signs were dropped onto my desk. Like my dream of one day naming crayon colors, becoming a street sign scribe was high on my list when I became a creative writing major.
Growing up on lackluster Allenhurst — when my neighborhood was otherwise surrounded by strong Native names of Sioux and Seneca — I vowed to never allow another kid to live with the shame of a boring street name. Here at last I was given my chance! I would make a difference to the world!
My boss quickly reminded me that I worked for a novelty toy company, not the government. And rather than have me write anything empowering, he said, he really would prefer that I write something along the lines of “Bong Boulevard.”
It was not the shining moment I had hoped it would be. That being said, more than a decade later, you can still find my fake street signs in gift shops across the country.
You’re welcome, America!
When it comes to the name game, it seems the pharmaceutical companies have the right idea. The drug names conjure up feeling of your desired results. Lunesta treats insomnia. The d name is a combination of “luna,” Latin for “Moon,” and “siesta” a nap. Heck yeah, I want a moon nap! Because you know what a moon nap is? It’s sleep — something every insomniac surely craves.
Lunesta is a brilliant name. Much better than Allenhurst or Piper or Mary or any other name that was selected without reason.
I think Crayola needs to up its name game and give children’s crayons the names that suit their imagination. “Middle green”? I don’t even know what that means. But I do know what “Slimy swamp creature green” means. What about “witch’s wart green” or “cool caterpillar green” or “grass stain green”?
When the best thing you’ve got going for you is asparagus, it’s time for some self reflection.
~ from the archives, Katiedid Langrock, copyright 2018 Creators
- Melissopalynology is the study of pollen that bees collect to make honey. (“Melissa” is the ancient Greek word for “bee”; palynology, the study of pollen and spores, comes from the ancient Greek word for scatter.”) In use since the 1890s to determine a honey’s composition and place of origin, this super-specific science now helps to trap honey counterfeiters – and their are many – who adulterate their products with cheap sweeteners or try to pass of blended honey as coming from a more desirable single source.
- When trivia lovers hear the word “duck-billed platypus,” they think “monotreme” – a rare egg laying mammal. And that’s not all! The male platypus has the uncommon distinction of being a venomous mammal, using the sharp curved spurs at the base of its feet to sting foes. A platypus sting will leave a person in excruciating pain for days. Yet that powerful venom may have powerful benefits to humans. Researchers are currently investigating it potential to treat diabetes.
- Did real pirates say, “Arrr!”? We may never know for sure. But English actor Robert Newton certainly did when he portrayed Long John Silver in the 1950 Disney film “Treasure Island.” That led to title roles in “Blackbeard the Pirate” (1952) and “Long John Silver” (1954), as well as a Long John Silver TV series. And that led to most of the world to assume that historical pirates spoke with the same accent as Newton.
- Because rail gauges (the space between tracks) may vary from country to country, European train travel sometimes involves a “bogie exchange,” in which a train car — with passengers inside! — is lifted off the wheel assembly, or bogie, so the bogie can be swapped out for one of a different gauge. Trains traveling from Bucharest, Romania to Chisinau, Moldova have a bogie exchange in Ungheni, Moldova. A rail journey between Beijing and Ulaanbaatar, Mongolia, includes a three hour stop for a bogie exchange in Erlian, China.
~ From the archives, 2018, Leslie Elman, Trivia Bits, trademark