STATIC CLING HUMOR, HOT HAM ZINGER SANDWICHES, FASCINATING FACTS
First Wednesday in October 2024 greetings + hump day!
Presenting today’s Wednesday Reader
Lots of fascinatings, laughter and a really simple zinger ham sandwich!
Thanks for your time + sharing + engaging
Hat tip!
Catch ya Friday
Same time
Same place
POP QUIZ
- THE SCHOONER ROUSE SIMMONS DISAPPEARED DURING A STORM ON LAKE MICHIGAN IN NOVEMBER 1912 WHILE CARRING WHAT CARGO TO CHICAGO?
a) Christmas Trees
b) Coal
c) Horses
d) Wine - EXCALIBUR WAS THE SWORD THAT BELONGED TO WHAT LEGENDARY HERO?
a) King Arthur
b) Beowulf
c) Sir Gawain
d) Robin Hood - SIRI BEGAN AS A RESEARCH DEVELOPMENT PROJECT FUNDED BY WHAT GOVERNMENT ENTITY?
a) Department of Defense
b) Department of Education
c) Federal Communications Commission
d) National Aeronautics and Space Administration
QUICK QUESTION
WHAT IS THE MOST HELPFUL THING YOU OWN?
POP QUIZ ANSWERS
- The schooner Rouse Simmons was carrying Christmas trees to Chicago when it disappeared during a storm on Lake Michigan in November 1912.
- Excalibur was the sword that belonged to King Arthur.
- Siri began as a research and development project funded by the U.S. Department of Defense.
~ COPYRIGHT 2024 LESLIE ELMAN
DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM
WISE GUY
Brilliant Answers!
This student aced the test, but flunked the exam.
Q: In which battle did Napoleon die?
A: his last battle
Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?
A: at the bottom of the page
Q: River Ravi flows in what state?
A: liquid
Q: What is the main reason for divorce?
A: marriage
Q: What is the main reason for failures?
A: exams
Q: What can you never eat for breakfast?
A: lunch and dinner
Q: What looks like half of an apple?
A: the other half
Q: If you throw a red stone into the blue sea what will it become?
A: it will become wet
Q: How can a man go eight days without sleeping?
A: no problem, he sleeps at night
Q: How can you lift an elephant with one hand?
A: you will never find an elephant that has only one hand
Q: If you had 3 apples and 4 oranges in one hand, 4 apples and 3 oranges in the other hand, what do you have?
A: very large hands
Q: If it took 8 men 10 hours to build a wall, how long would it take 4 men to build it?
A: no time at all. The wall’s already built
~ from my treasured collection of emails
this one hails from 2000
I DON’T WANT NO BETTER BOOK
THAN WHAT YOUR FACE IS.~ Huckleberry Finn ~
SATISFACTION GUARANTEED:
FIND AND HONOR YOUR OWN PACE
RIDDLE ME THIS
AN ELECTRIC TRAIN IS MOVING NORTH AT 100 m.p.h.
WHICH WAY DOES THE SMOKE BLOW?
HOT HAM ZINGERS
These “zingers” are delicious!
Terrific on the day or freeze, pull out, bake for dinner or lunch another day in a snap!
HERE’S HOW WE MAKE THEM:
- 6 long french rolls from the bakery, split (think hot dog bun split sort of thing)
- 1 1/2 pound quality deli smoked ham, shaved
- 3/4 pound deli baby swiss cheese, sliced thin
IN A SMALL BOWL THOROUGHLY MIX TOGETHER:
- 1 + 1/2 stick of butter, room temp
- 1 TBSP prepared horseradish (from a jar)
- 2 TBSP yellow or Dijon mustard
- 1 TBSP poppy seeds
- 1/2 cup finely diced red onion
PREHEAT OVEN TO 350*
ASSEMBLE THE ZINGERS
Liberally spread butter mixture on both sides of each roll and layer ham and swiss – dividing equally among rolls.
WRAP SANDWICHES, INDIVIDUALLY, IN ALUMINUM FOIL AND BAKE FOR 30 MINUTES
RIDDLE ANSWER
ELECTRIC TRAINS DON’T BLOW SMOKE
LOST IN SUBURBIA
THE KING OF CLING
BY TRACY BECKERMAN
Not that I’m obsessive or anything, but years ago when my kids were little, I would carry entire kiddie wardrobes around with me so that when my kids got dirty, I could strip them down on the spot and change their clothes.
Of course, this started to become pretty embarrassing for the kids by the time they hit 20, so I stopped.
It also meant mounds more laundry than was really necessary. But really, what was a few hundred more loads when my reputation as The Laundry Goddess of the Universe was at stake?
Eventually, though, I gave up on the whole thing. Did I care that half the time MY kids look like they rolled in pizza? Of course I did. But I’d come to realize that a clean kid is somehow unnatural. It goes against nature. It’s like having a clean dog: It’s cosmically unattainable.
However, even with less attention to cleanliness, I still had a lot of laundry to do. But for me, the problem was not quantity.
My thing was the static cling.
I’m not talking about the static that made my daughter’s hair wrap around her head like some electric combover. Nor was it the static my son liked to create when he purposely shuffled across the carpet in his socks and then zapped my nose. And no, it wasn’t the static that made my dog look like a canine Gordon Ramsay.
No, what I’m talking about is the evil, fabric-softener-defying-fabric-sheet-resisting static build up IN THE DRYER that causes all the clothes to come out in one big, shocking, static clump.
Call me crazy, but I want sparks to fly when I kiss my husband, not when I peel my clothes apart.
“Aaaaarrrrggghhhh,” I groaned as I pulled a sock from a towel and got zapped. “I HATE STATIC CLING ! ! ! !”
“What’s the big deal?” said my husband. “Just get some of those dryer sheets.”
I glared at him. “They don’t work.”
He shrugged and went back to reading his magazine while I folded the shocking pile of laundry. Sure, what did he care … I was the one who had to run static interference all season. By the time I got the socks in his drawer, they had been surgically separated from the rest of the clump and were nice and fluffy and static-free.
But sometimes, somehow, something escapes.
Such was the case the day I went to our town hall on business. While I stood talking to one of the officials, one of the associates behind me said, “There’s something stuck inside the hood of your sweatshirt.”
With an audible static charge, he peeled the offending article away from my hood and dangled for all of us to see:
A pair of women’s black thong underwear. MY black thong underwear.
For a moment we all stood paralyzed at the sight of my underwear suspended between his thumb and forefinger. The men looked at me expectantly, but my mind was a blank. Finally, I came out of my coma, grabbed the underwear and said the first thing that came into my mind.
“Oh,” I said. “Those are my husband’s.”
~ Tracy Beckerman is the author of the Amazon Bestseller, “Barking at the Moon: A Story of Life, Love, and Kibble.”
COPYRIGHT 2024 CREATORS.COM
Fascinating Stuff
- At age 26, composer Richard Wagner was working as an orchestra conductor in Riga, Latvia, and he was deeply in debt. So, he decided to run from his creditors by hopping a ship to London. His voyage in 1839 was perilous, and it didn’t solve his money problems, but it did inspire him to write the “The Flying Durchman,” an opera based on the seafaring legend of a ghost ship doomed to sail for all eternity.
- The first nationally syndicated episode of “Soul Train” aired on Oct. 2, 1971, and featured Gladys Knight & the Pips singing “Friendship Train” and “I Don’t Wanna Do Wrong.” Other performers on that episode were Eddie Kendricks, the Honey Cone and Bobby Hutton. Of course, folks in Chicago know that the show really began in 1970, as an “afternoon dance party” created by Don Cornelius for the fledgling UHF station WCIU. (If you remember UHF stations, you’ve earned a special trip down the Soul Train Line!)
- In its Jan 28, 1946, issue, Time magazine ran a feature story about mystery fiction with a picture of novelist Craig Rice on the cover. In her day — yes, “her” day, because “Craig Rice” was a pseudonym of Georgiana Randolph Craig — she sold as many novels as her contemporaries Raymond Chandler and Rex Stout. She lived hard and died young, and while even die-hard crime fiction fans might not know her today, she accomplished what few people have: She had her picture on the cover of Time magazine.
- The virtual assistant Siri made her debut on Oct. 4, 2011. Her original speaking voice was provided by voice actress Susan Bennett, who spent weeks recording words and sounds for an “unspecified Apple project.” Programmers later concatenated, or resembled, those recorded sounds to form the word and phrases of Siri’s vocabulary.
- Yakima Canutt (1895-1986), a bronco-busting rodeo cowboy turned Hollywood stuntman, was the first man to execute a horse transfer (going midgallop from a horse to another moving object) on a film. A regular stunt double for John Wayne, Canutt also doubled for Clark Gable on equine stunts in “Gone With the Wind.” Later he gained renown as a second-unit director who specialized in desiging and shootin action sequences, including the chariot race in the 1959 film “Ben – Hur.”
~ COPYRIGHT 2024 LESLIE ELMAN
DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM
Love the cartoons always makes me smile😀 great riddle too!
Question can you freeze the ham zingers before cooking them so you have a prepared easy meal to pull out?
❤️Reading your blog
Love the art and the cartoons. Didn’t do well on the pop quiz but learned a lot from Leslie’s fun facts. Who knew Rex Stout, my dad’s favorite author, was a female???
So much good information, fun facts, yummy recipes and humor. Counting the minutes until Friday. ❤️
Beckermans laundry story. 😁😆😂