WEDNESDAY READER | MAY 3
Greetings, Friends –
Presenting Wednesday Reader.
Just got off the phone with my sister, Jennie, making sure I got her Garlic Scampi served over angel hair pasta recipe correct. She gave it a green light. Shrimp + Pasta fan? Gotta give it a try!
Jerry Clower’s story of New Bull is side-splitting funny.
Pop Quiz and Fascinating Stuff – again – is material for being the most interesting person in the room – just is.
Conundrums – no brainer when we read the compilation. Totally makes sense.
As always, Thank you from my heart for sliding by and giving us a read.
See ya Friday!
- APOLLO 17 ASTRONAUT HARRISON “JACK” SCHMITT EARNED A PH.D. IN WHICH SCIENTIFIC FIELD?
- WHICH NBA STAR WAS NICKNAMED “THE MAILMAN”?
a) Darryl Dawkins
b) Clyde Drexler
c) Karl Malone
d) John Stockton
- MOST OF SHAKESPEARE’S “OTHELLO” TAKES PLACE AMID BATTLES BETWEEN VENETIANS AND TURKS ON WHAT ISLAND?
WHAT LIFE SKILLS ARE RARELY TAUGHT BUT EXTREMELY USEFUL?
POP QUIZ ANSWERS
- Apollo 17 astronaut Harrison “Jack” Schmitt holds a Ph.D. in geology.
- NBA star Karl Malone was nicknamed “The Mailman” because he always delivered.
- Acts II and V of “Othello” take place on the island of Cypress.
~ COPYRIGHT 2023 LESLIE ELMAN
DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM
HERE ARE A FEW CONUNDRUMS …
- … drugstores make the sick walk all the way back of the store to get their prescriptions filled when healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front
- … people order double cheese burgers, large fries and a diet soda
- … we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and store our junk in the garage
- … we buy hot dogs in packages of 10 and buns in packages of 8
- … most women can’t put on mascara with their mouths closed
- … doctors call what they do practice
- … the man who invests our money is called a Broker
- … the time of day with the slowest traffic is called Rush Hour
- … there isn’t a mouse-flavored cat food
- … the indestructible Black Box that’s used on airplanes – why isn’t the whole plane made out of that
- … apartments are called apartments when they’re all stuck together
- … if con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress
- … what’s up with ABBRERVIATED being such a long word
- … if flying is so safe, why is the airport called – The Terminal
- … why didn’t Noah swat those 2 mosquitos
~ compiled by Peter Clarson
SCARS ARE TATTOOS WITH BETTER STORIES
(( Starve the landfills. Recycle. ))
RIDDLE ME THIS
WHAT HAS A NECK BUT NO HEAD?
GARLIC SCAMPI served over angel hair pasta
My sister, Jennie, is wild about this garlic and shrimp pasta dish. “It cooks so quickly, it’s borderline fast food,” she laughs. Jennie has been delighting friends and family with this remarkable recipe for years. ~ SERVES 4
HERE’S HOW TO MAKE IT:
- 2 pounds large shrimp, peeled and de-veined
- 1 stick of butter, cut in slices
- 1 small red onion, finely chopped
- 4 Roma tomatoes, diced (optional)
- 1 TBSP garlic, minced
- 2 TBSP fresh basil, minced
- 1/2 cup dry white wine
- 3 TBSP + more freshly squeezed lemon juice
- 1/4 cup Parmesan cheese, grated
- salt and pepper to taste
- 1 pound angel hair pasta, cooked to package instructions
IN A SKILLET OVER MEDIUM-HIGH HEAT
Saute onion, garlic for about 4-5 minutes.
Add shrimp, basil, lemon juice, salt and pepper.
Stir and saute about 1 -2 minutes. Pour wine over all and continue cooking about 4 minutes longer – until shrimp is pink.
Add diced tomato (optional)
Divide pasta evenly among serving plates and top with shrimp mix.
Top with a few more squeezes of fresh lemon juice and grated Parmesan cheese.
A fresh butter lettuce side salad and a piece of artisan bread are perfect pals to this fantastic dinner dish.
A NEW BULL
This farmer was sitting out in his back yard discussing with his manager about how they had to buy a new bull. It was imperative that they had to bring some more bloodlines to the farm. There were three bulls already on the place, and they were in the lot, and they could hear the guy talking.
The first bull said, “Looka here, I been here three years. There ain’t but fifty cows here; thirty of them cows belong to me. I don’t care what kinda Mr. Big Shot Bull he brings here. I ain’t about to be nice to him.”
The second bull said, “I ain’t been here but a year and a half and I agree with you. I ain’t about to put up with it. We’ll make life miserable for him. And I guarantee I ain’t about to share nothing with him.”
The third bull said, “I ain’t been here but six months, and I don’t have but about five cows that even like me, but I’ll tell you right now, I ain’t giving up them five. Mr. Bull’s gonna be in a bad state of affairs.”
Next day here come one of them big long trucks — great big diesels out on each side of it, smoke belting from it — drove up in the yard, let down the end gate, brakes cut off, that air come off ’em.
There was about the biggest, raunchiest bull ever been … walked off that thing … weighed over a ton, snorting. He didn’t have to look through the fence to see the cows grazing down in the pasture. He slapfooted just looked over the fence at them. Great big hump on his back and, man, he just went strutting around the lot. Man, he was something!
The first bull said, “You know, I been doing a little thinking. It was real ugly for me to have the attitude I been having, and I think I’ll just share with him.”
The second bull said, “You know, I’ve changed my mind too; I really want to do the right thing about it.”
The third bull busted out of the stall, run out in the lot, commenced to pawing the ground, whiskers up on his back, just trotting around out there, pawing in the dirt.
The first bull said, “Hey, man, what in the world are you doing? You crazy? That thing’ll kill you.”
He said, “Look, I just wanta make sure that he knows that I’m a bull.”
~ copyright Jerry Clower
STORIES FROM HOME
reprinted with permission:
University Press Mississippi
- Earth isn’t the only celestial body that experiences quakes. NASA started measuring the moon’s seismic activity when Apollo 11 mission left a seismometer on the moon’s surface in 1969. The InSight space lander recorded more than 1,300 seismic events on Mars between 2018 and 2022. And data from NASA’s MESSENGER space probe showed that Mercury, the smallest planet, is becoming even smaller as a result of “mercury quakes.”
- “Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds.” That passage from “The Persian Wars” by Herodotus refers to Persian couriers from the 5th century B.C., but it’s been associated with the U.S. Postal Service ever since it was inscribed above the main entrance of the post office building on Eighth Avenue in New York City.
- Although Shakespeare’s character Othello is a black man, few black actors portrayed him before the 20th century. Among the earliest in the United States was James Hewlett, chief actor of the African Grove Theatre, an all-black company in New York City. Another was Ira Aldridge, an American-born stage actor who played Othello onstage in London for the first time in 1825, when he was just 17 years old.
~ COPYRIGHT 2023 LESLIE ELMAN
DISTRIBUTED BY CREATORS.COM